Heart-wrenching

One of the sweetest and possibly most emotional conversations I've ever had and one that still rings in my ears today:

It's 7:30am the day I leave to Indonesia. I have just walked through the door after spending the previous night with friends. I walk into the TV room where Tom is watching TV.


Me: Morning Tom-Tom.

Tom: Morning Rashika (pause, then whispers) it's your last day today...

Me: Yes, I know Tom-Tom, I'm really sad.

Tom: (quietly) I'm sad too.

Me: I don't want to leave Tom Tom (I meant this)

Tom: I don't want you to leave...


Writing this still has me choking back the tears. I have never heard such sweetness in one tiny voice before.

Well, I never...

Three things:

1. I was really and truly sad to leave London.
2. I cried my heart out on that plane.
3. It's been three weeks and I still miss home.


There I said it. The 'H' word.

How I came to love a place I used to loathe is beyond me.

But, here I am, in Mc Donalds (damn you capitalism) in the centre of Jakarta, having seen some breathtaking (sorry no pics due to my camera being stolen- but that's another post) islands of Bali and Gili Trawangan, seeing shooting stars in their numbers,  learning how to use Asian toilets and meeting wonderful, hospitable and friendly Indonesians: and I miss home!

In a way it's nice, it means I'm not a robot. I'm not as averted to attachment as I think. And I've carved a life for myself that was all me. And maybe in the greater scheme of things it doesn't really matter, but for me the last seven months in London was the home I created for myself, by myself and that's a nice feeling!