Heart-wrenching

One of the sweetest and possibly most emotional conversations I've ever had and one that still rings in my ears today:

It's 7:30am the day I leave to Indonesia. I have just walked through the door after spending the previous night with friends. I walk into the TV room where Tom is watching TV.


Me: Morning Tom-Tom.

Tom: Morning Rashika (pause, then whispers) it's your last day today...

Me: Yes, I know Tom-Tom, I'm really sad.

Tom: (quietly) I'm sad too.

Me: I don't want to leave Tom Tom (I meant this)

Tom: I don't want you to leave...


Writing this still has me choking back the tears. I have never heard such sweetness in one tiny voice before.

Well, I never...

Three things:

1. I was really and truly sad to leave London.
2. I cried my heart out on that plane.
3. It's been three weeks and I still miss home.


There I said it. The 'H' word.

How I came to love a place I used to loathe is beyond me.

But, here I am, in Mc Donalds (damn you capitalism) in the centre of Jakarta, having seen some breathtaking (sorry no pics due to my camera being stolen- but that's another post) islands of Bali and Gili Trawangan, seeing shooting stars in their numbers,  learning how to use Asian toilets and meeting wonderful, hospitable and friendly Indonesians: and I miss home!

In a way it's nice, it means I'm not a robot. I'm not as averted to attachment as I think. And I've carved a life for myself that was all me. And maybe in the greater scheme of things it doesn't really matter, but for me the last seven months in London was the home I created for myself, by myself and that's a nice feeling!

Kids love me.

"You're the best nanny ever!" Tom whooped when I told him the news: Nando's for dinner.

Ordinarily I would never take the kids to any fast-food place; I believe in balanced home-cooked meals- like any good nanny worth their job.

Of course Tom would think this after my announcement. I mean, what else do I do with a 10-year old dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and shorts, sitting outside in the rain, at dinner time because I've locked the keys in the house? And of course, the four spare keys I cut this morning are on the kitchen counter because I hadn't handed them to the neighbours as I was meant to.

And let's not forget that I'm babysitting tonight…

Yip. I'm the best nanny. Ever.

AWOL

For those checking in on my blog, however infrequent, you may have noticed a slight lapse in my ramblings. Apologies for the long absence, two months I believe. I have been far too busy actually living and my blog has had to take the back seat; I trust I have your understanding in this regard!

Hope to update you all within the next week, otherwise you'll be hearing from me from another continent- exciting times ahead!

Much love and all that xxx

Mull Over This

In true gap-year style I'm discovering new things about myself and the world around me. As much as my framework has shifted it has also stayed much the same, both intentionally and unintentionally. At the core things have remained the same but just become clearer and it's often without realisation that I catch myself saying and doing things that prove (more to myself) what  I'm about. 

So with this I have claimed my own philosophy: "for the experience" is always a good reason to do anything. 

Of course this is completely subjective but whoever you are, whatever you're like it's bound to get you out of your comfort zone! 

Pretty Pictures

Click the pics!

Midnight at Hyde Park

Autumn in Sicily

Lonesome

50/50

Peek-a-boo Simona

Look at their faces

Oh Susanna

Like the Elephant Graveyard from the Lion King

Picture through a telescope

Trust

Grapefruit Face

Toss the Bucket List!

The beautiful Turquoise Coast of Turkey

A collection of new things I've done- some exciting and some not so exciting. Remember you can click to enlarge the pics!

It is whatever you think it
is!

* Be strip searched
* Become involved- or at least interested- in politics and human rights
* Hitch-hike
* Sit under a Baobab tree
* Attend a New Years Eve party (have never done this!)

Volunteering at Walk the Walk Moonwalk-
walking marathon that only started at midnight.
I was on crowd control! lol! 15 000 (women mostly
it was for breast cancer.)

* Live in a château
* Get a tattoo
* Do a mountain trail by myself
* Work as a pub cleaner




*Not freak out at seeing snakes (Europe's most poisonous at that and more than one)
* Make/be friends with unlikely people
* Sleep on the street
* Try to support local/up & coming artists/musicians/photographers as much as I can
* Cook meat (not my proudest but hey, not all lessons can be fun)

* Build a huge snowman

* Like wine
* Shop for chickens (er... to keep)
* Miss no one
* Pretend I'm Australian and have people believe it (until I answered Fosters when asked what beer I drink)
* Send a message in a bottle
* Pick olives
* Date a Pakistani ( very short lived! Oh and no offence to anyone)
* Volunteer/Charity work- it's addictive
* Cycle as a mode of transport (took me a while to pluck up the courage!)
* Swim in 9 degree water
* Write a Wikipedia article
* Book the first and cheapest bus to anywhere
* Climb a volcano
* Smoke weed with F.W De Klerk's niece (let's see who actually reads my blog...)
* Have no money
* Write an essay on WW1 (the joys of being an nanny...)
* Get involved in my community
* Dress up as a (three) Musketeer
* TEFL qualification
* Be involved in a mass protest

Caught right in the middle of the 'Black Bloc' anarchists was
pretty scary.

* Faint from being ill
* Sleep under the stars for two weeks
* Run for charity
* Have more money than ever in my life
* Jump from a 10m cliff into the sea (10m looks a lot different from a jagged cliff top!)
* Get free drinks... not just for me but for whoever is with me (guys & girls! seriously, it's quite a skill!)
* Be completely self-sufficient (see above!)
* Farm

Hyde Park March 26th Protests 

* Listen to my gut feel/inner voice (which isn't always the voice of reason!)

* Learn a language
* Ride on the back of a motorbike
* Been to (need I say it, illegal) underground party

* Love my country

* Au-pair

Middle one: Thomas 'Tom-Tom' Blackler
 my GPS where ever we go!

Trekking through Wadi Arugot

Bedouin Market Beer'sheva on the
hunt for chickens

Sweet Simona checking on our chicks

A swim before our dive in the sparkly waters of the
Turquoise Coast

And things that (hopefully) I'll be doing soon but take a bit more planning:

* Drive a 50 seater bus
* Squat
* Learn to dumpster dive (hopefully while I squat)

Mt Etna